The general’s wife was in love with a fighter boy. My husband said that since he was a child, he played with small soldiers and tanks and really wanted to become a general. Following his dream, he graduated from the General Military University in Russia and became a paratrooper in a special battalion in Mongolia. A young lieutenant with a well-made uniform. We have 2 sons. Live happily in a one-room apartment bought with a mortgage by the standards of others. Our biggest responsibility was to raise our children healthy and pay the mortgage on time.
One morning, my husband was leaving for work, so we kissed the three of them the way we used to kiss them all and left. After a few minutes, he rang the bell and came back. He asked me, “I was about to close” when I asked, “Did I forget something, my love?” From that morning, our lives began to change. My husband, who is always bright, laughing loudly, and comes in with big steps, is tired and his eyes are always swollen. After playing and pampering us, we are sleeping and sleeping. Forgetting your boss’s name at work, bumping into a co-worker you don’t recognize on the street happened.
One evening, during the meal, he was sitting with his lid on his cup, listening to nothing, speaking nothing, his eyes telling nothing. Like someone from another planet. Then he looked at everything in amazement, got up as if nothing had happened, went to the sofa and immediately fell asleep. After observing all this, the boss told me to see a doctor, so my mother and I went to the hospital. When I heard the diagnosis, it was as if the world turned upside down. Epilepsy. A disease that makes you fall and lose your memory. There are many people with such diseases in Mongolia. People confuse it with mental illness. He was banned from skydiving. If you pull it while jumping, you will die instantly. Do not go out or drive alone. You can do anything because you are angry. “If you don’t keep calm, suicide is common,” he said. He said that he could not understand even simple things and might forget all his memories.
His eyes, which used to light up when he told others about his first time skydiving, his feelings and fears, are now mostly sad or blank. 4.5 times a day, it disappears from life without a trace. I feel dark inside thinking about who will teach my boys to ride a bike and play basketball, who will tell them that I was an unruly 20-year-old girl. I always lose my memory in Korean movies, so I used to blame the writers for not having any other ideas. Then all the things in the movie happened every day in my life. My husband was sitting and suddenly looked around and tried to figure out where he was, wondering what year and what month it was. You will be curious as if you are seeing the things you have for the first time. For the first time, I had a terrible feeling that “I can’t do anything.”
My husband left work and went to a lot of hospitals in this car. We chose not to suffer in this situation but to adapt and live happily. I became friends with a notebook to remember what I did, what I felt, and what happened every day. Will go back and read it together soon. They say that they will die together, just like in the movie Notebook. I’m scared to death of being forgotten. There were many times when we cried, but we are infinitely grateful to have each other. In the meantime, I went to many hospitals and found a good doctor. The medicine prescribed by the doctor worked very well and the symptoms gradually disappeared. But if you get tired and start taking a load, you will wake up again. Thanks to taking the medicine well and taking care of it well, now in the 2nd year, he does not have any seizures or forget anything. Now there are 6 of us, even though my husband can’t parachute anymore, we moved to the East after getting a job in another military unit. Of course, there is a fear that my illness will reawaken.
My husband once said, “I’m a bad person who gets sick like this.” I have become a useless animal beyond being together.” I said, “I love you no matter what. From now on, think of me as your memory. I will remember everything. I won’t forget anything. You will always be reminded. It will be possible,” he said. Whatever happens in the future, my words will always be true.
There are 37,000 people diagnosed with epilepsy in Mongolia. The meek girl published her notes on how this disease affected her life in a book. The name of the book is Purple Days.
